So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
