i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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