Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
