There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
