I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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