Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
