Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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