waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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