Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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