I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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