i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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