As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
