i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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