woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
