I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
