mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize