non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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