Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
