Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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