Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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