Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
