Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
