That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
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It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
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FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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