you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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