At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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