I just saw a hot homeless man
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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