im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
