I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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