Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
