Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Randomize
