jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Randomize
