i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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