I just cut my nipple shaving
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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