to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
