what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
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