4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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