I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
