Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
