I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
