I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
