i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
