Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
