just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
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