I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
