do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize