That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
