did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
