to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
