woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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