I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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