the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
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