and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
