Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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