i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
