How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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