So drunk its hurt
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Randomize
