Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
