I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
