My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
