He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
