We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
