do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
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I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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