i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
